Comic Construction Critic Gifts

Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

Town Planning Department

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Stone henge swing.

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

Unnatural Selection.

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

Is the heating contractor mad about something? He just needs space to vent?

I like going across the frame of this solar energy facility we're building. I'm waling on a sunbeam!

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

"Like THAT's ever going to work!"

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

'Your childhood treehouse is where we will begin therapy....'

'That's gonna be a big job, boss.'