Building Code Buff Gifts

What code violations?

'You say it's a boat, I say it's a house, and it's not up to code.'

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

Caution: Construction workers standing around and drinking coffee.

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

"Could I have a Tommy Tippee cup for my friend's beer, as he's been using a concrete breaker all day."

'The buildings are merging.'

Welcome to Elmville "Home of the world's biggest pothole." The mayor sure knows how to make the best of a bad situation!

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'Times are tough, Smith, but I don't want to lay you off. So, to keep you working, I want you to wash our building. That should keep you busy for the next decade.'

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

They Always Say That

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

The Mayor Alonzo Q. Furdweiller Pothole. Looks like the mayor and the city council are bickering again.

'Ok, we've rented the whole building ... oops, they just put on another floor.'

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

"Did you have any problems at the design stage?"

"Why do you always wear pants?"

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

'Best bit of winter pipe lagging I've seen for ages...unfortunately, that's just the scaffolding.'

'When you're right, you're right. When you're wrong, you're fired.'

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'

Sharon's more of a do-it-yourselfer.

'Don't worry - all tall buildings sway a little in the wind.'

'So that's what it's for Ethel. It's somewhere to put their spirit level

'It took you three years to build it. I'll have it down in 15 minutes.'

'Bill, you messed up again. You built the second floor on top of the third floor.'