Conspiracy Theorist Humor Gifts

Square comic panel denier

The Anti-Agent

'Teenagers!'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Bermuda Triangles

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

New Road Signs to Watch For:

Alien Assumption

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"Walt Disney on ice."

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

The Da Vinci Cod

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."