Conscious Traveler Gifts

"And coming up on the right is another area ruined by the likes of you."

'Couldn't you plant your tree before you fly?'

"Lovely holiday, terrific souvenirs, but not a tree to get any shade under!"

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

"I'd let you in, but I'm not sure I'm all here today"

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

"Physically I'm in New York, Emotionally. . .I'm somewhere in the south of Florida."

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Mexican Dog

'No luggage.'

A cow is trying to hitchhike away from the slaughterhouse.

People looking worried, sad and angry wait at the Emotional Baggage Carousel

'I've been working on my asceticism and self-denial for twenty years now -- could I go down to Las Vegas to test them?'

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Clinic

A guru offers a fainting couch to a man.

"All I have is tofu."

'What is it, Harold. You seem to be distracted.'

"I have so many summer videos on my phone, but I don’t remember being there." "Sure. Because you experienced it all through your phone."

Mountaintop Shopping Cart

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

'Boss, when fuel prices go down, will we go back to using our corporate jet again?'

I'll try searching 'Disabled Dining'.

Freeway exits: Should, Woulda, Coulda.

Migration to the Netherlands

Road sign reads: Gestalt Est, Zen Yoga and San Bernardino.

The road less traveled

'Leaving the state of 'being'; entering the great state of 'nothingness'.'

"According to this not only are we lost but in one way or another we've always been lost."

Mike becomes self aware.

"We'd prefer the sort of place where we won't catch any disfiguring diseases or be killed by fanatics."

"I wish they had untamed-rage detectors."