Connoisseur Of Critique Pillows

"I'm frustrated because I wish I were criticizing greater things."

Reading my Critics

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

Filling the Missile Gap

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

An acceptable level of TV violence.

The Forever Stamp

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"My kid could do that."

Sculptor's chippings

The Real Russian history

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Barbed Pen

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"My bouche was not amused."

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

"He's a mental-health critic."

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

Film Critic

"It's too academic."

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."