Congressional Affairs Pillows

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

XYZ Inc, putting a folksy, human face on unfettered corporate greed for over 50 years.

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

Rock and a Hard Place

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

The Republican's Plan One: No Obama!

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

Benefit mistakes cost one billion a year. Well in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct,they just weren't in the right order.

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

Stephen Harper Soliliquizes

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'We're out of duct tape.'

'It must be a risky proposal... legal is running it by their lawyers.'

"Thank you, Nathaniel. I think you, too, are a very scary young lawyer."

'In a complex court settlement, our parent company gets custody of us on the weekends.'

"It's been a great year - let's hope we can keep the shareholders from finding out."

Trumpled

'Environments-called-protection agency - formerly: Environment protection agency'

"It's the never-ending struggle between the State Department and the Department of Defense."

'For those of you who don't wish to know the results of our executives pay...turn away now.'