Confrontation Connoisseur Gifts

'I heard it was you who parked next to me and put a dent in my car door. Where do you want your vaporized ashes sent?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

The First Annual Game Show Week.

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Men gossiping

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"No party - it's for testing the atom smasher."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

Basically, you should think outside the box, but don't color outside the lines!

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

'Would the person who's inhaling the very life out of this meeting please stop it right now?'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

White Wine Wisdom (2)

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

"The Jacksons will be there in about an hour and I promise you guys an epic fight!"

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."