Conflicted Griller Gifts

'I'm beginning to feel bad about skipping church for a cookout.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Barbecuing Aprons For Today's Guys

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

'Good timing, Pal, good timing.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

"Come and get it!"

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

'Come and get it!'

Licensed to grill.

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

Astronaut grilling on the moon and watching his sausage fly.

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

'I know, we'll lead off the presentation with me telling an incredibly long and seemingly pointless anecdote about the time I burned my finger while lighting the back yard grill...'

Funky Chef 2

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

'Propane ran out.'

'What do you mean, you can't get it to light?'

"When Stan's barbecuing nothings ever 'well done'."

'I didn't know you were a cook. I just heard Daddy say you'd make good sausages.'