Conflict Cooker Gifts

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'Are we us or them?'

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

'I'll fix the problem... you fix the blame.'

'I take it this department has had conflicts.'

"What would happen if you put down your weapon and tried to work things out peacefully?"

Aleppo & the World

'I think the problem is, Lydia, you're a man-hater and Robert, you're a woman-hater, and I can't stand either one of you.'

"What a cute little spot for us to eventually get into a fight in!"

"Count them again. There can't be more trouble sports than there are countries."

'Busting balls since 1983.'

'We're facing a hostile takeover.'

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

'When the going gets tough, the tough SUE.'

"True, you have irreconcilable differences, but they're mainly about flossing."

"Is this what happens when management fails to deal with a passive aggressive member of staff..?"

"We were about to get a divorce, but we decided instead to go with the U.N. Peacekeepers."

The Politically Correct Brain

"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."

"So...were they open to negotiations?"

"You may want to steer clear of Jensen until he gets accustomed to you. He can be a bit territorial."

'...I really wish you would of told me you wanted to be a ballerina before we got married.'

'Hey! - Do I have to separate you two?'

Genocide in Gaza

'You're spoiling for a fight, aren't you?'

"For all the years I've worked here you've had it in for me...so will you get off my case."