Conflicted Cosmetic Shopper Pillows

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

Down on Her.

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

Cash Rebate

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.

"Honestly Xanthe. You really need to start spending more on the lipsticks you lend me."

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

"We save all the original packaging in case we have to return something."

'Philip was cute this morning. He said money's tight and I should only buy what I need.'

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

"Happy Easter!"

"Honestly, I think this was a waste of money."

"We're closed!"

What's the sale price on scones? Zero percent off. It's a sale in name only. I see. How many can I get at the sale price? The sale mentality mocks me.

"First, we'll need a sample of your DNA."

'Call me when you invent the warranty.'

Incredibly Inexpensive Security Systems' advertise 'Pretty Good Set Ups. 1/2 the price, 2/3 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional break-ins.

"The base is lava, from a volcano."

"My wife still hasn't been able to get a haircut since before the lockdown."

Customer Avoidance Dept.

"The bad news is, x-rays show I botched your face lift ... the good news is I'm not going to charge you."

'I don't like the looks of this.'

Man at complaints window gets redirected to the next window.

'Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.' - 'Blah, blah, blah.' - 'Ahem.' - 'Blah, blah, blah, blah.' - 'Blah, blah.' - 'Excuse me.' - 'Does it look like we want to help you?!' -

The Rest of Mighty Casey's Day. Check out. Wow! First he struck out and now his card is being rejected!

Drugstore signs - 'really gross stuff...'

Botox: Cosmetic Miracle or Gateway Drug?