Conflicted Customer Pillows

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.

"Where can I find your organic, locally raised children?"

Is there anyone here from 'customer care'? Could you tell them I'll ring back as soon as I've got my new kidney in!

Car Dealer

'Waiter, a café with chairs, tables and two coffees please!'

City Bank: The bank that sticks with you through thick.

Cathy was becoming increasingly buy-curious.

"So, what makes you think I'm a therapist?"

"We may need a clearer message."

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

"I love our litte chats, Jack, but you've got to start drinking again."

Cooling off period? I'm so cold I'll probably never use your company again!

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

He knew it. She was cheating on him again. Buying brand-name products and putting them in bulk containers. You know, just to appear thrifty.