Confession Collector Pillows

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

"I thought you must of been drunk last night, when you told everyone your real age."

Real Confessions

'Nobody regrets your mother's death-bed confession more than I do...'

"I secretly put decaf in my office coffeemaker so all of my coworkers work at my speed.'

True confessions.

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'Someday I'm going to tell you all of the things I've done right.'

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

Who's Dead

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

'Of coure you're the only girl I've ever kissed,on a desert island,that is.'

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

Confession Ratings.

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.