Conspiracy Collector Pillows

"Now remember, you guys, this news must not get out - we don't want to start a global panic."

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

The government is lying to us about life on the moon phobia.

The new Physics

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty

Conspiracy Cat

World Financial Mafia

"Please, Daddy, just one more conspiracy theory."

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

Einstein's Conspiracy theory of relativity

'Well, according to this website, the internet no longer exists!'

Virus Laboratory Wuhan

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

Conspiracy Theory Books

"Gosh, it's hot in Roswell!"

'Okay, I admit it - your conspiracy theory was right!'

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

"Skip the ghost stories. Tell us your conspiracy theory again!"

We have control of you brain.

Mars Rover

"Full disclosure. . . we're not disclosing anything."

'... And of course, there are the conspiracy theorists who say that it was all a big hoax and I didn't jump over it at all.'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

"I believed all the conspiracy theories except this one."

'With every 'Ying' there's a 'Yang'!'

"The 10th anniversary gift is tin. I got Ralph a new tinfoil hat. He's more sedate with the extra channels."

"Just got of the phone with Alex Jones. He tells me the illuminati lizards are approaching the moon. do we have space force on this?"

"I keep thinking someone's following me."

Oxymorons

Things You Should Know About...

'We're not going to Roswell again, it's such a tourist trap.'

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

"I write reactionary half-truths and broad generalizations, therefore I am."

'Who believes this nonsense?'