Condiment Comic Pillows

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Night of the Latkes

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Thou Shalt Not!

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Onion operation.

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

Amy Sedaris

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Bottomless bowl of soup

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"A votre sante!"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"Let's take this one step at a time. First, somebody is going to have to catch the fish."