Condiment Comic Pillows

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Night of the Latkes

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Thou Shalt Not!

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Onion operation.

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

Amy Sedaris

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

Bottomless bowl of soup

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"A votre sante!"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Let's take this one step at a time. First, somebody is going to have to catch the fish."

"Your fish ... I'm sorry, but there will be a slight delay."