Culinary Comics Pillows

'Tonight on the Gourmet Accountant - cooking the books.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'-and I suppose you want chips with it?'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

Night of the Latkes

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Thou Shalt Not!

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

Onion operation.

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

Amy Sedaris

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Bottomless bowl of soup

'Ok. I'm cooking dinner. What sounds good?'

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

'You caught 'em. You clean 'em.'

"A votre sante!"