Conchologist T-Shirts

"Of course he's home. He's a snail."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Our war is against cancer."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

Polluted geese

'But what is the universe for?'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

God Sneezes Out Creation

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

Sundial Time

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'I told you teamwork was the key to success...'

Geese's Thoughts.

'I know that our nesting area is somewhere around here?'

Espresso Martini Peacock

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"One!...Two!...Now spread those tail feathers..."

The Origins of Everything

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"