Clinical Connoisseur T-Shirts

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"My phone is my cosmetic advisor. If the facial recognition doesn't work, I know I'm wearing too much makeup."

'Botox so soon, Master?'

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

A railway station covered in advertising.

"Wow! You need professional help."

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

Man reading the title of an all white painting at an art gallery.

'I want a campaign that will fol some of the people some of the time and all of the people all of the time.'

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

"Yes, it was tested on rabbits and they simply adored it."