Care Connoisseur T-Shirts

Mothers are Heroes

Bookworm Sleepover

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Too much concealer?"

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

'Idle' Home Exhibition

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

Second aid

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"They've got insulation to die for!"

Satis Factory Tour

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

"You're stealing the blanket."

"Don’t call the fire department — this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in years."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Dr. Green...5 second rule...stat!"

'I see the Maids have been in!'

Junior's Towel

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

'Botox so soon, Master?'

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be underappreciated by your boss?"

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

"My phone is my cosmetic advisor. If the facial recognition doesn't work, I know I'm wearing too much makeup."