Care Connoisseur T-Shirts

Mothers are Heroes

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Bookworm Sleepover

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Too much concealer?"

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

'Idle' Home Exhibition

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

Second aid

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"They've got insulation to die for!"

Satis Factory Tour

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Don’t call the fire department — this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in years."

"You're stealing the blanket."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be underappreciated by your boss?"

Junior's Towel

'Botox so soon, Master?'

"My phone is my cosmetic advisor. If the facial recognition doesn't work, I know I'm wearing too much makeup."

'I see the Maids have been in!'

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'