Conceptual Caffeineist Gifts

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

Eternal Student.

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"You don't whisper anymore."

You've Had Enough!

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

Allegro con molto espresso

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Writers without borders.

Law School teacher.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Mea Maxima Cuppa

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

'What's holding him up?'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"You're never home."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

'You've had enough!'

National Coffee Day