Conceptual Art Appreciator T-Shirts

Performance Artist, Performance Spectator

'You must first identify yourself, madam.'

Living in a wine bottle.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Misunderstood artist

Pastorius wonders why.

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Nails pinning down the hammer that usually strikes them.

Convenience.

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

Juggler and Illusionist

Scarpia's Palace

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

Would you make up your mind? I can't keep letting you in and out all day.

The Cremaster Cycle

"Things are looking up!"

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

Artist on the Beach

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'