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"Twenty dollars? Who does it-Christo?"

Hope

"A line, and the way the line thinks of itself."

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

Convenience.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

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Apple Pie Abduction

"Well, that one got away."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Picasso: The Early Years

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Nails pinning down the hammer that usually strikes them.

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Cats at private view

"Now this I get."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

The Cremaster Cycle

Surreal ale

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

"Things are looking up!"

"Feel better, dear?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"It's wonderful, darling. It really says Manhattan."

Mouse with a cat cake.

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'