Contemporary Art Admirer T-Shirts

Tracey Emin - Private view.

Art in pandemic time: after Jeff Koons Coronaballoon

'Genius! He's the only artist living today who sends out a clear message.'

"You missed a bit."

"Look, Harry, this one has cold air coming out of it!"

Blanksy - Eraser Art Exhibition

"Now, which one of you idiots is going to pay a ridiculous amount of money for this garbage?"

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Why don't you find a museum!"

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'Evidently, one of them was a cartoonist!'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Picasso: The Early Years

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

Cats at private view

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

Jackson Pollock Studio

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

"Feel better, dear?"

Kultural K9's.

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

Mimi's final scene

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

The Cremaster Cycle

Joe Biden

"What did Jesus order?"