Contemporary Art Admirer T-Shirts

Tracey Emin - Private view.

Art in pandemic time: after Jeff Koons Coronaballoon

'Genius! He's the only artist living today who sends out a clear message.'

'You bought it - you can lie in it!'

"You missed a bit."

"Look, Harry, this one has cold air coming out of it!"

Blanksy - Eraser Art Exhibition

"Now, which one of you idiots is going to pay a ridiculous amount of money for this garbage?"

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"Well....I could've done this!"

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'Evidently, one of them was a cartoonist!'

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Jackson Pollock Studio

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

Picasso: The Early Years

Cats at private view

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

Joe Biden

"What did Jesus order?"

'At least I never have to straighten it out.'

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

"Feel better, dear?"

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

The Cremaster Cycle