Computer Engineer Gifts

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'I'm looking for software that will allow me to print my own money.'

"I'm in way over my head"

'It's a Microsoft patch. It will help stop your addiction to PCs.'

"Have you tried turning it off and throwing it out the window?"

Driver sees computer grid replacing landscape ahead. Road sign reads: 'Computer Simulation Next 2 Miles.'

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Once you get over your fear of the mouse, this thing is really neat.'

'I appreciate the fact that you're a computer whiz, Allan, but I'd prefer that you actually laugh out loud at my jokes.'

"Memory? It has too much memory. Still holds a grudge."

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

'Don't open that attachment!'

'If to err is human, how do you explain this mess?'

'Back in the industrial age, this was, I believe, a steel mill.'

'£80,000 is a bit steep. Have you got one with a lower IQ?'

'Look dear, he's burning his first illegal download to rewritable dvd'

Descendant of Galileo disproving the theory that computers double in speed every twelve months.

'Things just haven't been the same around here since people starting saving files in the cloud.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Now, before we go, does anyone have to empty their cache?"

'Did you try rebooting?'

Devil to computer salesman: 'Does it come with firewire'

E-Waist: An expanding of the waistline due to prolonged periods sitting in front of a computer monitor.

Evolution of the Troll.

'Good news, your server is still up!'

"That's just to impress the punters, this is the real McCoy."

"We pride ourselves on being a technologically aware company. Our Mr. Jenks here, is an absolute whizz with an abacus."

Early Tech Support

'Quick! Someone call IT!'

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

Great Moments in Chess

'Irwin is computer savvy, but his virtual persona is even more boring than his real persona.'

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.