Cybernetic Engineer Gifts

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Computer Bore

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"I accidentally hit 3 keys and then hit enter. CTRL + Z didn't get rid of it. Can we keep it as a pet?"

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

Hardware and software

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Man feeding his computer money.

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

Before the development of the microchip, attempts to build a laptop computer were largely unsuccessful.

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

"It's very sweet of you to visit him. Mr. Mainframe doen't get out much since the desktops came in."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

Boss to worker: 'Actually, the computer we're replacing you with does crack jokes.'

'Early Laptops.'

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'Look dear, he's burning his first illegal download to rewritable dvd'

Early Tech Support

"He certainly takes after his Dad."

"Thanks for the leaf blower! I'm putting it to good use."

Sunbathing with your PC.

'Dad taught me how to tie my shoes, and I taught him how to program the computer.'

'All I did was to connect an artificial heart to artificial legs, to an artificial kidney, to...'

'What does the internet have against my people?'