Computer Analyst Gifts

'Well, this certainly explains much of the company's missing data. Who else thought the 'DEL' key on their computer was for delegating work?'

'Oh no. More lab results.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Scratching head

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

'These are the data security consultants we hired last week. When it comes to firewall design, they're in a class by themselves!'

'It appears to be a hacker's virus.'

'No, it's no mistake, Martini. I want you to download the entire internet for me.'

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

Psychiatrist is also Computer Analyst.

'Well, now, let's just shine the light of common sense and linear thinking on this little computer problem of yours, shall we?' 'I'm not THAT desperate yet.'

Hack in to your computer $5

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my computer equipment these days.'

'I thought I had them all figured out, and then they started talking about their 'biological clocks.''

'I thought I had them all figured out, and then they started talking about their 'biological clocks.''

A watershed event in the life of a computer geek: Hearing the Call of the Information Highway.

"How's the computer analysis going?"

"You've been trying to hack that movie for over 5 years. I hate to break it to you, but you could get that movie for free on any channel."

'In simple terms, it's your hard drive.'

Immigrations £456 million computer system doesn't make mistakes Mrs miggins, or should I call you Don Escobar, drug czar?

STRIP Hambone: Computer analyst of company situation

'You had some nightmare: a misplaced DD override, an invalid concatenation, some other JCL errors ... '

'Hi, Pam, I'm Dave from tech support online. Just hit these three keys and your back in business!'

'I thought I had them all figured out, and then they started talking about their 'biological clocks,''

'Ah, finally a computer whose inner workings even an old judge can understand.'

'She's our first born. We haven't picked a name, but it will be case sensitive with at least one numeral.'

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

'Freeze, Higgins, and don't make a sound! It's a blinking curson arrow, in the 'delete' mode. One nick from that, my friend, and we're dead men!'

Nethead strip: Psycho analyst

The Anti-Agent

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

The Computer Bore

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'