Complaint King Gifts

'And I don't appreciate being left on hold,with Motorhead's 'The ace of spades'!'

'Waiter! I think this crab is underdone.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

In, Out, Complain.

Complaints departement for men and women.

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Complaints Desk

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"That's the Ommbudsman."

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"See? I told you my fish was undercooked!"

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

'It's Mr. Stebbins...he's getting back to you with a vengeance.'

Moanathon.

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

Airline concerns.

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."