Complaint Guru Gifts

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

'Last guy that worked here did nothing but complain.'

Complaints Desk

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

The nurses here are so slow. Could this blanket be any thinner? The buttons on the tv remote are too darn small. Although her health had improved, Mabel's condition remained critical.

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

"Look, I'm not denying the validity of your grievances. I just think they'd be better addressed at home, Helen."

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

'It's Mr. Stebbins...he's getting back to you with a vengeance.'

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

Awkward customers.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

Ryanair refunds

Wal Max - Complaints Department

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"You have to follow the guidance on dealing with complaints precisely or else the shredder gets blocked."

"I think I speak for all of us."

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

'And I don't appreciate being left on hold,with Motorhead's 'The ace of spades'!'

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

Boss in front of angry mob: 'Put it in writing.'

'I know I can handle the complaint department. I've been married for 20 years.'

Complaint clerk presses button to drop customer through trap door

"I don't get it...my boss once said that he loves animals...just last week he called me 'the laziest dog he did ever see.' But yet he fired me..."

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

'Every complaint is a 'learning experience', now we're going to learn how to hide them behind the filing cabinet!'

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

"Want to bitch for one more lap?"