Grievance Guru Gifts

"Look, I'm not denying the validity of your grievances. I just think they'd be better addressed at home, Helen."

"Officer, everything in the world is bothering me."

"It's so nice being on vacation and having different things to complain about."

Boss in front of angry mob: 'Put it in writing.'

"Well, at least he died doing what he loved."

'Put it in writing.'

You never did get rid of that chip on your shoulder did you, Peabody?

'No, I'm not retired. I just complain about everything now so when I do retire I'll already have some experience at it.'

'Something to sustain Sir's middle of the road rage.'

Complaint Department worker. 'Gosh, I'm good at this job!'

Larry regrets being friends with the fifth dentist.

Police complaints commission

"Gripe, gripe, gripe, gripe...

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

"This is part of the privatisation I don't like."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

'Just how informal is this constitution?'

Four Types of Critics

'Our telephone 'get out the vote' drive reached everyone, unfortunately, they all voted for our opponent.'

'So, your anger management class is working?'

Women

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

A good leader has effective conflict resolution strategies in place.

"As most MPs are lawyers that should give you a clue as to the mess we are in!"

'I can't help politicizing everything!'

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'