Competitive Spirits Appreciator Gifts

'Great performance. He was going for a triple bypass, and he did a quadruple.'

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

Snail Racing

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

Brickie's Mate

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

"Look the competition has a big, stupid product. We need a big, stupid product of our own, and we need it now!"

Four fishermen catch the same fish.

"I'm here to gets the gold"

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

Motivational tip #731: Appeal to their sense of entitlement.

'I hate snowboarders!'

'We're not looking for someone who wants to run with the wolves. We're looking for someone who wants to run over them.'

"I'm ready to play Hide and go Seek."

'Maybe so, but I bet that beer is nature's second most perfect food!'

"But seriously, medal of honor from the Academy of Sciences aside, who are you?"

"Calm down, I'm just using the rules of modern competition."

Congress today convened a special panel to study use of illegal performance enhancing drugs on the senior Scrabble tour. Members of Congress expressed outrage that such a national pastime could be sullied by fiber doping. Their anger led to an angry exchange with one witness. Hey Congress, here's a four-letter word … Turn off her mic.

'The Ugoola's wheel is bigger than ours!'

The weight of winning gold.

Beer

Rugby golden oldies.

Caddy With A Cool Box

One-upmanship.

"I'm a Dinosaur, Hargraves, and I'm no herbivore."

"No, the guy with the bat doesn't get to kill the guys with the mitts."

Players fight over a board-game called 'Squabble'.