Competitive Converser Pillows

Puck Building Shoot-out

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Danth battle?

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

Plane with banner shoots at another.

'It wasn't so much a hostile takeover as it was a best 2 out of 3 pillow fight.'

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

Statue of Christopher Columbus

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

Enlightenment Olympics.

A Man mixing up his sports.

Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can reach a higher plane of consciousness than your dad!

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

Space Hopper Rodeo

Javelin

"All As. What did you get?"

'I went for a walk this morning...' - 'I ran 20 miles... uphill.' - '...and I had bran flakes for breakfast.' - 'Yeah, well I ate 19 sausages, 3 melons, and a horse.' - 'I'm going for a pee.' - 'I swear I could flood this place!!'

'I usually say what I think.'. . .'I usually think what I say.'

"You're so easy to talk to - not everyone is such a good listener."

"This call is monitored for quality. Try to keep up your end of the conversation."

"You're not holding up your end of the conversation."

'You can't call it a fluke after forty-three wins.'

Books 'n' Coffee