Competition Enthusiasts Pillows

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

Fishing Boat Derby

The USA football team goes on the offensive.

"Today, shocking news when it was revealed that the World Staring Champion has tested positive for Stare-Roids!"

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Can our software do that?'

Putin and Zelensky

Tension filled the tent.

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

COWS: Cow Pong

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

Workplace Shinanigans

"Look the competition has a big, stupid product. We need a big, stupid product of our own, and we need it now!"

Office Competitions

'What a control freak!'

"I quit."

A report on one-upmanship in TV newscasts.

Hat Wars.

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

'There goes Finley...turning pro.'

Motivational tip #731: Appeal to their sense of entitlement.

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

Big Guys vs Little Guys

Rugby Mad.

'We're not looking for someone who wants to run with the wolves. We're looking for someone who wants to run over them.'

'I won a prize for being the school swot. I killed more flies than anyone else.'

'This is doing your chances of winning the 'Golden Paper Clip' award no harm at all!'

'I prefer Brand X myself.'

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

Eight puns