Competition Enthusiasts Gifts

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

Fishing Boat Derby

The USA football team goes on the offensive.

"Today, shocking news when it was revealed that the World Staring Champion has tested positive for Stare-Roids!"

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Can our software do that?'

Putin and Zelensky

Tension filled the tent.

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

COWS: Cow Pong

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

Workplace Shinanigans

No Time-Outs Left. Please Help.

"Look the competition has a big, stupid product. We need a big, stupid product of our own, and we need it now!"

Office Competitions

'What a control freak!'

"I quit."

Motivational tip #731: Appeal to their sense of entitlement.

Hat Wars.

Valentino Rossi (the Doctor)

'There goes Finley...turning pro.'

A report on one-upmanship in TV newscasts.

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

Big Guys vs Little Guys

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

Rugby Mad.

'We're not looking for someone who wants to run with the wolves. We're looking for someone who wants to run over them.'

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.

Eight puns

'I won a prize for being the school swot. I killed more flies than anyone else.'