Competition Champ Pillows

"Sure I won the spelling bee contest, but since everyone has spell check, no one cares!"

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'Play it again, Sam.'

Not much money, glory, or praise

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Two Players both holding the same cue.

Swimming Champion.

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

Traffic warden directing people in the gym.

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

"Never mind the carrot, where's my f*****g medal?"

My music gave me a grade of F sharp.

'I want to thank all my obstacles for making this possible.'

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

"Sorry, no more room. What a shame, I’m the teacher."

'I'm doing a 'Win a Date with a Computer Geek' contest on my website.'

'We've won a free trip to the mountains.'

"This one says he's his company's lead-off man."

'That's it Ma'am: Your VCR is set and programmed... You don't need to be an Alpha Male to work it out...'

Little known evolutionary steps.

"I didn't want to tell you like this, but I'm going solo..."

The Pole Jumper.

Defense Not losing Goal Offense Winning

"'Wash the Car'? Isn't that nepotism?"

Died After A Brave Battle With Everything

Sorry you are not a winner please try again

"What? You got something funny to say?"