Compensation Commander Gifts

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

'It's a treasure map.'

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

'This is your lucky day!'

"You should probably pass if they offer stock options."

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

'We're not interested in loyalty,but we do value obedience.'

'There are some subjects that are off limits...CEO bonuses...Overtime pay...Business ethics...'

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

I dread to think what he would have got had they made a profit.

"We're still negotiating. I want a six-figure starting salary and they don't want to hire me."

"Mr. Packard will sue you now."

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

'Because of cost cuts, your computer and telephone got removed. Just make a 'Click-Click' noise for typing, 'Bzzt-Bzzt' for printing and 'Ring-Ring' for incoming calls.'

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

'And I'll bet that there's a cute little war story that goes with each one of them.'

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

"Incentive program, you mean like your paycheck?"

Been Injured In An Accident That Wasn't Your Fault! Call...Wilbur & Ohnson.

'The general says, I'm not only expendable, but also biodegradable.'

'The enemy sir. They've broken our code. Perhaps it wasn't good idea to use pig Latin.'

"Damn shareholders are objecting to 'grotesquely inflated' executive pay... They want us to settle for 'outrageously inflated'!"

Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of an organization advocating the overthrow of the generous executive bonus system in corporations?

Pentagon