Compassionate Comedians Gifts

'It's gonna be auctioned off to help us? If they want to help us, why don't they just open it and serve us some?'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

Toothbrush Romance

'They call me Portugese Man of War, but I'm really just a jellyfish of love.'

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

'If I inspired this love peom, how come it's written on the back of a Hooters' napkin?'

Brian the dog#3 - Brian now realised he was NOT man's best friend.

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

Peter explains to the Disciples what really happened.

'My people have 253 words for snow, but only three for sub-prime mortgage.'

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"Till death do us part? Hers or mine?"

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"Women do not appreciate power tools as last minute gift ideas."

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

"You know darn well my maiden name wasn't Rex. Why do you ask?"

Critics In Love

Memory Foam Mattress.