Company Upgrade Gifts

'Last call to hand in your old desktops. We also ask that all disco balls be removed.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

"I'll take your request for an office with a sunny spot into consideration."

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

'Behind every great business deal is a company lawyer advising against it.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

'I told you I'd deal with your transfer request, Jenkins. Cut the deck!'

"For an up to date picture, I suggest we reconvene under the table."

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

"Perhaps you're right. Maybe we should upgrade our computer system."

"And so as a hedge against this trend, the directors have decided to invest heavily in red ink."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

'Well, no wonder I feel blocked.'

'When we started the company it was just a little cottage industry.' 'Megaco Incorporated.'

'Would it kill you to go for a computer upgrade?'

I can be upgraded, can you?

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

'Oh, we haven't used a crystal ball in years.'

'Didn't I tell you? We've decided to go public?'

"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"