Job Upgrade Gifts

STRIP Hambone: We've been computerized

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Others will fight for you

A fight in the Boardroom.

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

Reach for the Star.

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

The MBA Draft

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'