Business Upgrade Gifts

'I can finance your conversion to digital, but you'll owe me your soul.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'I've moved from being cautiously optimistic to being optimistically cautious.'

"I'll take your request for an office with a sunny spot into consideration."

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

"I'm a good risk for a business loan because I put 110% effort into my business."

"I got connected to the internet!"

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

"What do you mean, you're planning to float the business...?

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

Modular Offices

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

'Well, yes I can see there's definitely potential for growth.'

'Of course we're a global corporation. We have mail drops throughout the world.'

"Perhaps you're right. Maybe we should upgrade our computer system."

'Obviously, for Ben's proposal to really take off, he'll need a longer runway than our little company can provide!'

"Our sales have come a long way in a short time."

SWOTs

Your start-up team

Resume Consultant. Listing professional development courses you've taken since your last job was fine, but don't put"New & Improved" above your name.

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

'As you can see, the region is full of investment opportunities.'

'Would it kill you to go for a computer upgrade?'

Seriously, boss? I'm no longer allowed to talk about astronomy at work? Why? It's just bad for business. What if I want to get a huge merger approved so I could finally achieve my lifelong dream of having a monopoly of my very own? The government's not exactly science-friendly these days. I don't want them throwing up roadblocks just because my minion aid something that pressed their buttons. Did you know Venus is a dead world because of global warming? Stop that.