Business Improvement Gifts

"Does our improvement really need to be so continuous?"

Man putting a piece of paper into a Suggestion Box. The piece of paper is then seen flying out of a hole on the other side of the wall into the air.

"I have a plan to make this the most efficient, well-run auto parts shop in the country!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Stock options for your thoughts."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'