Business Efficiency Gifts

'Nice work. A fluid work force with a minimum of drips.'

'Ms. Haskell, as we transition to paperless, do you think I should carry a briefcase or laptop...or both?'

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

Time Is Money

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Maybe clean out your wallet

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

Inout baskets.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

Fact: The average person spends 4.3 hours per week looking for things that are misplaced, misfiled or mislabeled.

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

Your computer has every alert, alarm and reminder possible...enough with the sticky notes!!!

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"I was just finishing up some spring cleaning."