Efficiency Gifts

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Your solution is far too simple for a real expert..."

"If you're really disciplined, you can get through all the paperwork in a 50 hour week..."

'Who ordered 10,000 copies of how to conserve paper?'

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

'I have to hang up. I only have an hour to get these reports done.'

In and Out Tray

"We're not that well organized, but we know where everybody is."

'Of course it's efficient - it's a flowchart.'

"You wouldn't believe how many patients he sees in a single day!"

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

'Remember I said I wish I had more arms so I could get more things done? Well the doctor took care of that problem.'

'My next move is to figure out my next move.'

'We must cut production because we've run out of warehouse space'. (at Swedish Furniture Co.)

Suppliers Accounts - "You'll have to be more careful, that's the second time this month you've paid an invoice on time."

'This used to take hours.'

'You might want to cover the floor with something other than straw.' (Needles and Pins company).

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"This is our new time manager"

"So how many extra widgets do we have to produce to pay for the surveillance system to check we're making enough widgets?"

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

'It's a fake. But all the hanging around the water cooler is down 37%!'

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

Satis Factory Tour

'Grottenmiller, this is the administration department. It's absolutely unacceptable that you've solved a problem in one hour when it could have been solved in three weeks!'

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

"Look, time is money- could you please fast forward to your point."

Litter BinDesk Organiser

'You'd get a lot more work done if you didn't reply to every spam email with 'Thank you for your kind offer ...''

"My schedule is just nuts."

"The efficiency expert finally showed up for his appointment. Should I send him in?"

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

In-house printing.

"Is there some software that will help me do 18 hours work in less than 8?"

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS