Efficiency Strategies Gifts

"I'm going to have to let you go. HR have found somebody who is 28% better at being you for 45% less."

"Looks like we found the issue."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

Time Is Money

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

Motivation to work

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

Inout baskets.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

Fact: The average person spends 4.3 hours per week looking for things that are misplaced, misfiled or mislabeled.

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'