Upgrading Tech Gifts

'We need a new TV, Dad — it's stupid watching 'Reading Rainbow' in black and white.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

"I got connected to the internet!"

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

Rudy, am I correct that you and Armstrong each just upgraded your laptops? Yeah, so? And last month, if I'm not mistaken, you and Armstrong each upgraded your phones. Again, so? Don't you see what's happened to you and Armstrong? You've synchronized your cycles. What? Your upgrade cycles! They're in sync! What in the world are you talking about? What in the world indeed?!

"I upgrade then it's obsolete and I have to upgrade again! As soon as I upgrade I have to upgrade again! Upgrade! Upgrade!! Always upgrade!!"

'Darling, wake up, I've just realised ... we're not HD ready.'

I can be upgraded, can you?

Obsolete: Any piece of software or hardware that your school brought last year for mega bucks.

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

'Oh, we haven't used a crystal ball in years.'

"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Television Models

'Granny buys wide-screen TV'

'It's for the office computer. It's been replaced.'

'I'm sorry Sherman, you're dumped. I could never go out with sombody who uses out of date tech.'

"I must ask Alexa too many questions. She said she can't answer any more because her throat is sore from talking."

"This home comes with all the latest technology. As part of the tech package, tech-support will live with you until you figure out how to use it all."

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

Man throwing out his outdated TV set.