Company Morale Booster Pillows

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

'Monica, you're always such an island of calm in the company. How do you do it?' 'Well, the economy helps some with that.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"Best project manager we ever had."

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

'Before we begin, everyone turn to the person next to you and give them a hug.'

Office Dunce.

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"And this is where we all gave up."

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?

I didn't want to become the company president, but the board of directors left me no choice. You were backed into a corner office.

'Great idea, Philpott. Wish you'd thought of it.'

When we believe together we achieve together.

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

'This is gonna be one of those teamwork talks, isn't it?'

'A good leader can lead them to water, but a great leader can also make them drink.'

"So, it's agreed - we lay off the stick and hit them hard with the carrot."

Office Politics

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

We're one big happy family here. What I'm looking for is a man who can make it work.

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

Sinking sales

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

"Yes, we do have an incentive scheme - fall below that line and you're sacked."

Thanks to an elaborate system of mirrors, every employee at Vecon Industries had a window view.

'You're my best employee. You're punctual, ambitious and precise. The problem is ... it scares the devil out of my other employees.'

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

Coffee, Snacks, and Encouragement.