Communication Technology Gifts

'I'm on the plain.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Anti-Agent

"Welcome to the future"

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Lynching on social media

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robot Parts $5

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

In the Guru District

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

Computer Room.