Communication Gadgets Gifts

"We need a new phone."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Lynching on social media

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'How fast can you hype?'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

Campaign for Plain English

'Not that net!'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

21st century water cooler conversations.

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"