Committee Jokesters Gifts

'You've been appointed to an independent watchdog committee.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

Ted did have some concerns about the appearance of nepotism.

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"I have to start thinking out of the box."

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

"It's good to be able to recognize everyone."

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

'It's Jones Sir! He's showing of his ball point pen again!'

'A lackluster style got me to where I am, and a lackluster style is going to keep me here.'

"It's dress down day!"

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

The main reason I was chosen to be the senior manager is my ability to always be calm, wise and right. . .What's that in your hand?! Is that a shiny thing?!!. . ."

'Ed here has some sort of problem with his membership on the visitation committee, Reverend.'

STRIP Hambone: Zebra computer repairman

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! Malaprop Man! I hear you told people in England you're royalty. Yeah, at first they didn't realize that I was only Joe King. I was an error to the throne who rained for forty days and forty knights. It's disappointing though that I never got to see a pig riding contest at Bucking Ham palace. And I never met Sherlock Holmes. He's the guy who followed the foot prince!

"This has you as three feet tall but I don't see you as more than two and a half."

'We're looking for a consensus-building team player, if that's all right with you.'

Living Longer Magazine.

How about swapping wives for the day?

Invoice...outvoice.

"Team, I'd like to introduce Mr. Mandrake aka 'The Sales Magician'."

Ways to waste time at work.

"Let's celebrate Friday! Show me again how good my numbers are compared to Congress!"

"We were all given motivational videos at work today. All it shows is our boss shouting and sacking people."

Poodle gets stuck in the elevator.

A Please Wipe Your Feet mat with words mixed up at the Dyslexic clinic.