Commitment-phobia Survivor Gifts

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

Dating Death

"And you're telling me this because?"

'It can't last.'

Man on treadmill with one leg in a cast.

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

'I'm going to be a lot more decisive from now on. Well... maybe not a lot more, but at least a little more.'

'Don't you think having a relationship might put a stain on our relationship?'

"Hey, what if marriages had term limits?"

"It was a misunderstanding. I thought I was buying all rights to her hand in matrimony, she thinks it was just first rights."

Would you like it engraved? Yes please put to my one and only love. That way if we break up and she throws it back at me, I can use it on someone else.