Commitment-phobia Conqueror Gifts

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"Yes ... no!"

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Hello, Susie, it's R

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

"And you're telling me this because?"

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

"I'm sorry son, was that, 'I do', or 'please kill me'?"

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

Dating Death

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

'..to be your lawfully wedded husband? If so, signify by saying one of the following...'I definitely do', 'I might', 'I don't', or 'I definitely don't'.'

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

It's not that I don't care for you, but let's face it Larry. You have commitment issues.

'Don't you think having a relationship might put a stain on our relationship?'

'I'm going to be a lot more decisive from now on. Well... maybe not a lot more, but at least a little more.'

"Hey, what if marriages had term limits?"