Commitment-phobia Conqueror Pillows

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Yes ... no!"

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

Dating Death

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

"And you're telling me this because?"

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

It's not that I don't care for you, but let's face it Larry. You have commitment issues.

'Don't you think having a relationship might put a stain on our relationship?'

'I'm going to be a lot more decisive from now on. Well... maybe not a lot more, but at least a little more.'

Would you like it engraved? Yes please put to my one and only love. That way if we break up and she throws it back at me, I can use it on someone else.

"Hey, what if marriages had term limits?"